It’s a summer to remember . . . at the Jersey Shore. Giovanna “Gia” Spumanti and her cousin Isabella “Bella” Rizzoli are going to have the sexiest summer ever. While they couldn’t be more different—pint-size Gia is a carefree, outspoken party girl and Bella is a tall, slender athlete who always holds her tongue—for the next month they’re ready to pouf up their hair, put on their stilettos, and soak up all that Seaside Heights, New Jersey, has to offer: hot guidos, cool clubs, fried Oreos, and lots of tequila. So far, Gia’s summer is on fire. Between nearly burning down their rented bungalow, inventing the popular “tan-tags” at the Tantastic Salon where she works, and rescuing a shark on the beach, she becomes a local celebrity overnight. Luckily, she meets the perfect guy to help her keep the flames under control. Firefighter Frank Rossi is exactly her type: big, tan, and Italian. But is he tough enough to handle Gia when things really heat up? Bella is more than ready for some fun in the sun. Finally free of her bonehead ex-boyfriend, she left home in Brooklyn with one goal in mind: hooking up with a sexy gorilla for a no-strings-attached summer fling. In no time, she lands a job leading “Beat Up the Beat” dance classes at a local gym, and is scooped up by Beemer-driving, preppy Bender Newberry. Only problem: Bella can’t get her romantic and ripped boss Tony “Trouble” Troublino out of her head. He’s relationship material. Suddenly, Bella’s not sure what she wants. The cousins soon realize that for every friend they make on the boardwalk, there are also rivals, slummers, and frenemies who will do anything to ruin their summer—and try their relationship. Before July ends, the bonds of family and friendship will be stretched to the breaking point. Will the haters prevail, or will Gia and Bella find love at the Shore? For everyone who loves MTV’s hit reality show, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’s sweet, funny, and sexy novel perfectly captures the heat, the energy, the fun, and the drama of Jersey Shore. |
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749 of 788 found the following review helpful:
In the canon of Ewok literature, it's just a "C" Jan 07, 2011
By suaspontemark I still pine for the day when Wicket W. Warrick releases his memoirs of the Battle of Endor, but until then, we'll just have to settle for this excellent translation. It's one of the cleanest in the English language, where the grunts and vernacular of the vertically challenged and girth enhanced Ewok Snooki come across in all their simplicity. Though demonstrating a remarkable paucity of thought, we're endeared of this member of the species, and look forward to more as she gains her voice and hopefully develops a slightly higher IQ. Kudos to her translator, but it's unfortunate that the editor had such a dull source. It's entertaining, momentarily, to have exposure to the Ewok's earth culture of drinking, whoring, and tanning, but that wears out quickly and we're left with a book that is the 2011 version of Jessica Simpson's wedding planning guide.
127 of 133 found the following review helpful:
Ebola Virus Bad Feb 14, 2011
By Del Shannon
"Del Shannon"
I was honestly surprised when my internal organs began to hemorrhage and fail in cascading fashion as I read the following passage from 'A Shore Thing.' "Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky."
I rallied as best I could and continued to read, but my wife called 911 when she found me unconscious on the floor and my finger on this homage to internal bleeding. "Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla. Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a 'roid rage, it is a 'road' 'roid rage."
Somebody please call the CDC. Lethal damage awaits anyone who reads much more of this...it's not a book so I'm not exactly sure what to call it. The definition of Weapons of Mass Destruction takes a new and unexpected twist.
469 of 514 found the following review helpful:
Grate book! Jan 10, 2011
By R. Casimiro I use to be Harvard inglish profeser. I reed this bok and now forgot how spel and use inglish. Plot was nyce, had good story and hot chicks.
173 of 188 found the following review helpful:
Kinda rough! Apr 16, 2011
By Ben Heeren This isnt the softest toilet tissue but it does the job, it costs a bit more than regular toilet tissue but it lasts a bit longer.
700 of 787 found the following review helpful:
Assisted Suicide Jan 07, 2011
By Marxius
"There are no such things as stupid questions, just stupid people..."
This is by far the best assisted suicide novel I have ever read. I was literally cutting my wrists as every page was turned. Bravo Snooki!!
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