Confessions of a Guidette
Confessions of a Guidette
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Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has a lifestyle most guidettes dream about. But can she help it if she was born to love fake tans and juiceheads? In this must-have guide to being a guidette, America’s favorite pint-sized princess shares her secrets for ROCKING it, Jersey-style.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to arm yourself with bronzer, a tease comb, and makeup brushes and join the Snooki Style Revolution. When guidettes march in, people notice. It’s the attitude. The boldness. The sex appeal. The tan. The serious shortage of hairspray in the surrounding area. You have to experiment in life, or you’ll be boring. From her top twenty-five rules for being a guidette, to her smushable makeup and skin secrets, to her rules on Snookin’ for love, Snooki’s sickest tips and advice for friggin’ owning it are all here, along with hundreds of full color photographs and the official Snictionary for easy reference.
But that’s not all. There’s a lot more to the diminutive reality star than what you see on TV. Snooki shares her obsessions (her bed, Viva Glam Gaga bright pink lipstick, sci-fi movies) and some juicy behind-the-Shore secrets (which season was her favorite, what it was like to wake up in a jail cell in season two, why the house smells like alcohol and dog’s butt). For everything else, you’ll just have to read the book!
Being a guidette princess is about being yourself, doing what you want, and trying to have a good time wherever you are. So strap yourselves in, bitches! And get ready for the ride.
It’s the Snooki Style Revolution, bitches!
“My biggest nightmare is waking up pale. Or without eyelashes.”
“A guidette has to know how to have fun anywhere. Like, if you’re stuck in a cardboard box, you have to rock it.”
“LOVE my slippers. It’s like wearing beds on your feet.”
“If you can smell hair gel from a mile away, it signals guido mating season.”
“I like to wear so many accessories that people are confused.”
“Guidettes are born with attitude. It doesn’t matter if you’re tall, skinny, round, or a Smurf, or what your background is, we put on our bronzer and we fricken rock our princess status. Like, get out of our way, we don’t care what you think. Unless you’re a mirror.”
|Author:||Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi|
|Publication Date:||October 25, 2011|
|Product Length:||0.75 inches|
|Product Width:||7.76 inches|
|Product Height:||9.49 inches|
|Product Weight:||1.51 pounds|
|Package Length:||9.21 inches|
|Package Width:||7.64 inches|
|Package Height:||1.02 inches|
|Package Weight:||1.54 pounds|
|Average Customer Rating:|| based on 32 reviews|
|Average Customer Review: ( 32 customer reviews )
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
34 of 41 found the following review helpful:
Wow Oct 27, 2011
By Allison Wonderland
I met Snooki tonight when she signed my copy of this book. She was unfriendly and seemed like she hated having to meet the people who bought her book. The book itself can be condensed into only a couple dozen pages of solid print as it is filled with pictures, quotes, and lists. The book gives lots of advice on how to be a proper guidette: never wear flats (they are for librarians), don't use bumpits (use a teasing comb), never have pale skin, etc. If you are able to find Snooki herself to be amusing, then you'll enjoy reading this book - definitely buy on Amazon (or wait for the paperback) as it is 10 bucks less than in stores and don't bother with the kindle version since it won't do the pictures justice. There are lots of previously unseen pictures of Snooki and her home life. This book is obviously very very light reading with little substance; it's a guilty pleasure, just like Jersey Shore.
17 of 19 found the following review helpful:
A Decent Book if You Know what to Expect From It Jan 20, 2012
This book is a guilty pleasure for anyone that's already a fan of Jersey Shore. I'm a guy that enjoys watching the show, and purchased the book for a friend. I gave it a read, and noticed that Snooki admits that her 15 minutes of fame have lasted longer than what she had expected. If you've ever seen her on the show, you should already know that you're not buying a book of profound thoughts, nor a ghost-written autobiography from some politician. It's simply what you would expect.
The entire book is obviously fluff. Snooki's take on fashion, men, family and friends. She offers basic back stories on what occurred during Jersey Shore, and her take on the housemates. There are a number of lists tossed around, and some interesting facts that you wouldn't have guessed about her. The book is padded with photos, which I'm okay with considering I find her to be an attractive Latina (she's Chilean, not Italian).
If you're a fan of the show, it's worth reading. If you're a diehard Snooki fan, it's clearly a must-read. But if you dislike the show, it makes no sense to review the book, as there's no way it could possibly appeal to you. It would be like giving a Paula Deen book to a diabetic vegan.
Almost every one-star review of this book has something in common: no one actually comments on the book itself. Every reviewer but one sticks to criticizing Snooki or Jersey Shore in general, rather than actually state what they disliked about the book. People get their entertainment from different sources, from spending hours surfing the web, to playing video games. I don't apologize for being a regular watcher of the show, or taking the time to actually read the book.
2 of 2 found the following review helpful:
Wrong title Jul 30, 2012
By Paul S
When I first saw the title "Confessions of a Guidette" I thought that this was a biography like "Sliding into home" by Kendra Wilkinson and I was excited to get to know Snooki better. I was wrong... This book is full of bla bla bla's and pictures! If you're a die hard fan of Snooki I think you will like this.
26 of 38 found the following review helpful:
Good thing this mess of a book was a free copy... Oct 31, 2011
If you wish to aspire to the world of the tacky and declasse, then this is the book for you. Just when I thought nothing was more atrocious and amateurish than 'A Shore Thing,' Snooki didn't disappoint in adding more low-quality trash to online book shelves.
However, 'Confessions of a Guidette' should appeal to the functionally illiterate and/or barely literate, since it contains plenty of photos, and a jumble of lists no person of real style would find useful.
In the meanwhile, I'll preserve the health of my feet by wearing my "librarian flats" and embrace my pale skin in contrast to risking skin cancer and premature aging. Lastly, I wouldn't take the advice of anyone wearing a hairstyle straight from 1967 who has no concept of what real fashion and couture are.
1 of 1 found the following review helpful:
snooki Jun 17, 2013
I would have preferred paperback but I love the hard cover and the book is filled with a lot of pictures. I love it. thanks
See all 32 customer reviews on Amazon.com
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