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The Rules According to JWOWW: Shore-Tested Secrets on Landing a Mint Guy, Staying Fresh to Death, and Kicking the Competition to the Curb

The Rules According to JWOWW: Shore-Tested Secrets on Landing a Mint Guy, Staying Fresh to Death, and Kicking the Competition to the Curb
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The Rules According to JWOWW: Shore-Tested Secrets on Landing a Mint Guy, Staying Fresh to Death, and Kicking the Competition to the Curb

 
 
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Description

As one of the stars of MTV's top-rated reality show Jersey Shore, Jenni JWoWW Farley has spent two summers dating, mating, and making mischief on the sandy beaches of Seaside Heights and Miami with her housemates. Famous for both her cleavage-baring tops and her tough-as-nails approach to life and love (I am like a praying mantis, after I have sex with a guy I will rip their heads off), JWoWW is impulsive and spontaneous. The ultimate party girl, wherever she goes, drama follows. But beneath that tough exterior is a mature, caring young woman who has become the series' resident big sister - the one they turn to for the honest advice they need. While JWoWW tells it like it is, she is also fiercely loyal to her friends and wants to see them happy. Infused with Jersey Shore attitude and never-before-shared anecdotes Jenni's guide to dating reveals what she has learned about men, sex, smackdowns, and standing her ground. Jenni shares some of her wildest moments on the show and talks about past relationships - the good, the bad, and the gorillas. She also gives modern girls the smackdown on how to handle the competition (I cut girls quicker than barbers do - you don't want to get in my business). As fans know, JWoWW knows how to get the guys - and now she shows other girls how to get them too.


Product Details
Author:Jenni "JWOWW" Farley
Hardcover:224 pages
Publisher:William Morrow
Publication Date:February 08, 2011
Package Length:8.1 inches
Package Width:5.0 inches
Package Height:0.9 inches
Package Weight:0.55 pounds
Average Customer Rating: based on 68 reviews

Customer Reviews
Average Customer Review:4.0 ( 68 customer reviews )
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

66 of 74 found the following review helpful:


5Rule 60: The most important one of all: Every woman has it in her to "WOWW"  Feb 09, 2011 By Amazon Customer "Lovebug0528"
I recently became a Jersey Shore fan, thanks to MTV's marathon reruns of the previous seasons. JWOWW has shown she has a pretty level head on her shoulders so when I heard her book came out, I rushed to here to download it to my phone and am currently reading it. She starts off saying this is the life she chooses and it doesn't mean the readers should do the same thing; she doesn't claim to be a role model.
The kindle version has 9 black and white photos of JWOW semi-sexy...there's one in a bikini with a beach ball but another perched on a stool wearing a club dress sipping a cocktail and showing off some great legs. It's pretty clear the book is for young women (18-28) give or take. She uses the "f-word" and other "bad words" but the book is written in such a way it sounds like your girlfriend talking and you hardly notice it and almost want to laugh after you've read it.

There are 60 rules and they are split up into 9 Chapters, Smushing, Beauty, Body, Stylin', It's Over, Relationships, Dating, and On the Prowl. Each section varies in the number of rules it has. In the introduction there is a short vocabulary lesson or "Shore Speak" but if you watch the show you have some idea what words mean but it clarifies some others.

The chapters are set up like this; you first read the rule then get the reasons behind the rule. She goes into detail talking about the kinds of guys you can come across and the best way to handle them. While she says who she would go for, she still keeps an open mind about if this is the guy for you. Sprinkled throughout the book are "Dear JWOWW" letters that she responds to giving advice.

Topics covered in book include:

Guys we meet: the man whore, the Guido, the cheater, Mr. Smooth, The cocky a**hole, the virgin, the nerd, the drunk
JWOWW favorite clubs in Miami, Jersey Shore and Long Island
Women we deal with: the marriage wrecker, the hippo, the extreme faker, the drama queen
Five body signals to show interested
Five body signals to show not interested
Recipes for alcoholic drinks (2-3)
Six signs he's a cheating scumbag
Six signs you're a hook-up
Five red flags that he's a control freak
Five ways to fight right (not physical)
A few Italian meal recipes (2-3)
Six ways to survive a break up
How to get over a breakup... in three easy steps
Questions to ask yourself if you think you might want to get back together
Ways to get back at him (all seem to improve yourself but are still kind of low, then again when you hurt, you want him to hurt)
The elements of Guido style
How to go from casual to club in ten minutes
Exercise routines to work specific body parts
Her healthy eating plan (only gives a plan for one day with three options for each meal and snack suggestions. This is because she plans on coming out with her own line of exercise DVD's and pills)
The elements of Guidette Beauty
A glimpse at an hour by hour timeline of how she prepares before hitting the town
Advice on nails, hair extensions and make up (including permanent make-up!)
Tanning Tips (and tricks when you screw it up)
Hair removal (advice on the many ways you can remove unwanted body hair)
What to do if the sex sucks
Ten physical things that turn a guy off
Ten nonphysical things that turn a guy off
Ideas to spice up the bedroom
Advice on STD's and being a virgin or gay or bi

Overall this book reads almost as if it's a big sister to a little sister. The honest conversation mom would kill the both of you if she found out. The advice is good and reads sincere with jokes and stories that will make you smile, maybe laugh or remember watching it on TV. An example would be she talks about drinking and advice on ordering drinks and drinking too much and the time she punched a roommate while totally drunk and how she later regretted it. She says what she chooses to do but also gives the other options an equal stance. She doesn't say this way is the ONLY way and others ways aren't worth her time. It reminds me of reading those teen magazine sections about advice only more adult and less candy coated, and bible stamped. While she never gets too graphic and doesn't openly offend anyone, some people might not like the swearing and a few descriptions of large women with bad attitudes at clubs being labeled hippos and or grenades; but everyone is going to be touchy about a subject that is sensitive to them.

The only thing I didn't like was that it seems short. Maybe I am just a fast reader. I wish it was longer but what other advice could she give? She covered a lot. I also would have liked the photos to be less sexy and maybe more natural photos or photos of make-up applications or cute outfit ideas but I suppose if she did that it would cross the line into something aimed at teens and it is very borderline, teen/young adult. YOU might not WANT a teenager reading this book but it would be a book a teenager would want to read and possibly enjoy reading. Reason number is it accepts the reader is looking for a guy, having/had sex and possibly having one night stands in a drunken stupor. So its aim is for the college aged ladies but the advice could reach down to the teens and up to the single 30's.

3 of 3 found the following review helpful:


1holy god  Apr 16, 2014 By satellitehigh
I do a podcast about bad books so I was forced to read this. This is an actual book that exists and one that people have read for unironic enjoyment. I'm very scared.

9 of 12 found the following review helpful:


4I actually liked this!  Apr 05, 2011 By Jenni
This book was not as bad as I thought it would be. I received it as a gift, and even though I smiled and said it was just what I had been wanting, I was skeptical. Once I started reading, I got sucked right in. Despite the party girl facade, there is actually some solid, sensible advice lurking in these pages, delivered with a little Jersey attitude. It was a light, entertaining read, and when I was done I had a curious urge to go buy some bronzer.

6 of 8 found the following review helpful:


4Cute book  Mar 22, 2011 By Jenifer "cthylla"
I'm 33, and obviously this book is geared to a younger audience. Still, I thought it was a cute book and got a kick out of reading it. It's written in a conversational style and it's easy to blow through in a couple of hours. I'm always surprised that Jenni is as young as she is...her wisdom at her age makes her seem much older. JWOWW is an interesting character on the Jersey Shore, and this book provided a few more insights into her personality.

Part of me wishes there were two versions of this book. One version would be geared towards young girls- teens and maybe even some preteens. I like how she preached self respect and self esteem a lot. I think much of what she says could go to heart for a young girl reading this....and that's a good thing.

All in all, not sorry I paid to read it.

4 of 5 found the following review helpful:


4Great, amusing book...  Mar 26, 2011 By LilyFleur
What can I say? I can't help but really like JWOWW. She seems like a strong girl who values and protects her true friends and after seeing her once in person at Seaside, I was dying to know her 'secrets,' since she looked so good. I was mainly interested in reading her book because I was curious about her gym, tanning and diet routine but I read through the entire book in one go because it was a great read.

It's a very honest and no-nonsense book and it really seems as if she's talking directly to you in the book. The beginning of the book starts out mainly with her talking about how she came to be JWOWW and how you can be like her too. Then she has a Jersey Shore slang dictionary (very funny) and goes into dissecting the types of men that you might meet out at the shore from man-whores to virgins. That part was pretty amusing too. There's a section on dating, where she advises you on how to attract a man if you're shy and if you're not and how to keep his attention. Then she goes into relationships and how to keep things interesting. After that, she also has a section on breakups and how to deal with them.

After that, comes the part that I was interested in which was her beauty, gym and diet routine. I was a little disappointed in this section because it really wasn't anything groundbreaking. She gives some clothing and hair advice but it's nothing you couldn't find in any standard teen magazine. In her gym routine, she has breakdowns of her days at the gym and then little blurbs that explain the exercises that she does. Again, very general stuff you could find in any magazine. In her tanning and diet routine, I don't think she was very honest about what she actually does. It seems like she decides to play it safe as to not ruffle any feathers and she only talks about fake tanning (though on the show we see her talking about tanning beds, not just fake tan) and she gives very general diet advice with the focus being on moderation and not denying yourself any treats. However, on the web I had seen that she was hawking the HCG diet for awhile and selling it's products on her website. No mention of that in the book though.

The rest of the book just seemed like a big advertisement where she was selling products that she probably gets a kickback for. Examples are her tanning lotion, her plastic surgeon, her upcoming exercise dvd, etc; I'm surprised she didn't mention smoking, I know she was being paid by a disposable electronic cigarette company awhile back as her way of 'quitting' cigarettes. Word of advice on that, disposable electronic cigarettes suck. They don't work very well and if you want to quit smoking on them, it's very difficult to do so. (Probably why she didn't stick to them) Google FreshSmoking. What they carry is quality, the prices are great, shipping and cs are fast and I haven't smoked a real cigarette now in years. Anyhow, lastly, she closes up the book with an empowering speech on how ever girl can be as fabulous her, etc; etc; It would have been nice if the book had more pictures, there were just a few of her and the pictures were in black and white.

The book isn't going to win any prizes BUT it was an amusing and fun read. I was a little disappointed about how general the sections that I was primarily interested were but I'm still probably going to buy a few copies for my friends to read since it was pretty funny. I finished the book in about an hour and a half and wasn't disappointed. If you're a Jersey Shore fan, she also has lots of little anecdotes about her fellow cast members in the book as well. I am looking forward to her fitness DVD though!

See all 68 customer reviews on Amazon.com

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